Thursday 11 June 2015

Terrifying hallucination

After a night of whiskey chasers, fishbowls of rum punch and vodka slammers, I woke this morning, took a 2-hour bath in asses' milk and was just about to powder my nose in the ornate, gem-encrusted Louis Quatorze hand-mirror when I saw this terrifying vision.  Not my face reflected in the mirror, but the ugly face of my uncouth maid, Basil.  This was so disturbing I had to take an ice-bath and lay down in a darkened room for 3 hours.  The sound of my vomiting was like a lorryload of coal being delivered.  I've never had an hallucination in my life, before now, and I frequently pop Valium like they're a tube of Smarties, and follow it up by marijuana marmite on toast for breakfast.

7 comments:

  1. Ohhhhhhh dear me, id had to have a good lie down too.

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  2. "The sound of my vomiting was like a lorryload of coal being delivered."

    You are a lass of many talents !

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  3. I think Basil looks kind of cute.
    Sx

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  4. Where is Mitzi? Has Carmen done 'er in?
    Sx

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  5. Can't stop thinking of a certain Alfredo Garcia.

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  6. Hello all my friends..... hello 63mago, Ms Scarlet, Mistress Maddie, Mitzi and Jane and Lance Hattatt,

    I have received a telegram from Mitzi originating from "Benidorm, Espana". Mitzi says she is with Carmen and that Mitzi has just been crowned Miss Benidorm 2015 and is considering a career in acting. Carmen is in training alongside Sticky Vicky. currently working as a bearded lady!

    Fanny xxx

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  7. Thank you for the update!
    I look forward to seeing Mitzi taking over the Rovers in Corrie. She was made to play Liz McDonald!
    Sx

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